The Hare and the Other Hare

The Hare decided to challenge the other Hare to a race, since he was so confident he would win. The race started and the first Hare sprinted, and then realized he was very fast so he took a nap. The other hare did the exact same thing. They ended up tying.

Moral: If you're a Hare, challenge a tortoise, not another Hare.

The Two Dudes

Two dudes were friends. One of them stabbed the other one. So the other one stabbed the first one. They both died. At the funeral people were uncomfortable because the first dude had an Uncle Benny in attendance and he was talking about a lot of boring stuff like how great he was at Track and Field in highschool.

Moral: Move on, Uncle Benny.

The small village and the blind girl

A young blind girl was being raised in a small village in the middle of the woods. The residents of the village were simple in their ways, eating by torchlight and always obeying curfew laws because of the monsters that would enter the village at night. One day the young blind girl felt she needed to find a doctor because the love of her life was stabbed by a retarded boy. So she left through the woods, reached a wall and realized that she wasn't in the 17th century like she thought but was actually in a modern 21st century world and her parents had lied to her the entire time because they were rich and obsessed with olden times. Then she realized she was related to Ron Howard and that her entire life seemed overly contrived and had awful dialogue.

Moral: Don't watch The Village. It's really an awful movie.

The Mouse and the Barracuda

A mouse and a barracuda met one day at the river's edge. They became fast friends and soon began doing everything together... eat, laugh and love life. One day the barracuda told the mouse that he had put on some weight. The mouse, clearly horribly angered by this comment, developed a serious eating disorder. He then went so crazy due to lack of food that he swimmed out into the river, murdered the Barracuda and feasted on it's blood. It gained that barracuda's powers, and is now known around the village as the Mousecuda of legend.

Moral: Beware of the Mousecuda, it will eat children that don't eat their vegetables.